october fog part two: home

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………………….

i’d like to write a post about how wonderful and crisp october has been, and how cozy and warm we are in our little cabin in the woods. i’d like to say that i’m writing this post while sipping a warm cup of tea nestled into a comfy chair. a lot of people are fond of october and so am i, but i’ve been a little bit of a pessimist recently and it’s no good. i haven’t made tea in months. i haven’t had motivation to clean our cabin so it feels comfy to relax in. i can’t cozy up to my own laptop like i used to because it’s been incapacitated since july. i haven’t been enjoying making fires in our woodstove on these cold nights because i forgot how smokey it gets and how hard it is to get a good fire going in our dysfunctional old stove. and then there’s the cabin visitors.

in my last post i mentioned the bugs and spiders and mice and mold and things we find in our cabin. in one sense i do appreciate that wildness enters my abode on its own accord. it makes me think about nature differently than i would if i lived in a seemingly sterile second floor new construction type place. at the same time, it honestly can be hard.

the other night a large spider appeared on my pillow just before i went to bed. we like to call them “wolfies” to make light of how startling they are when they appear and how similar they look to wolf spiders (but we suspect they are not actually wolf spiders). living in a cabin in the woods has pretty much immunized me against so many kinds of little spiders. when i was younger i would cringe at the little guys that hang out in the corners of any house and i would muster up a lot of fear with the slightly larger ones that would appear crawling along the bare walls at night. nowadays, they’re no big deal. why not let them hang out? they aren’t interested in me! oh, but the “wolfies” are another story. they are the big guys on campus. they freak me out. i am capable of killing them myself, but i make a fuss. it’s not fun.

anyway. that’s my pessimistic post. i don’t mean to complain, but i’ve got to get it out and move on i suppose. here’s to more walks and hikes in the autumn forest, because that i know i can cozy up to.

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