fear & winter

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with the recent warm temperatures and rain we’ve lost a lot of snow, but it’s also made winter hiking a little bit easier and inviting. Darin and i went for a hike on Sunday down a trail i’ve visited SO many times, but this time we did some off-trail explorations. as a result we found a cool stick fort, a beautiful huge boulder that offered a great vantage point, an old beaver tree, and one tree that was so riddled with woodpecker-love we couldn’t believe it! i like that new perspectives and sights are just a few steps away from where you might normally walk.

in my last post i wrote a little bit about one of my intentions for the new year: living a more embodied life. in this post i want to talk a little more about another intention i have for 2014: letting go of fear. i was SO inspired by erin at bluebirdbaby for this intention. reading her post on fear really CLICKED for me. i want to make this year a really positive one for me, and that includes growing as a photographer and artist, starting a career, and doing more for myself, my community, and my relationships. one thing in particular that i’ve struggled with towards the end of 2013 is a fear of rejection or failure. i’ve been on the job market in new hampshire for quite a few months now without much success. one thing i’m trying to do immediately is to let go of the doubt that prevents me from even applying to some jobs. i’ve begun to overcome those doubts and reach out to more possibilities. in addition, rather than simply waiting for “the right thing” to come along, i’m going to continue volunteering, building my skills, and also focusing on photography and art. if i can build an Etsy business over time, then the stress of not having a job (or THE DREAM job), may not bring me down so much. i also know that it’s so important for me to not fear being a failure. i’m not doing anything wrong or not doing “enough.” those are silly thoughts. it’s a hard thing to tell yourself that you’re awesome and have confidence in yourself in what you do, but also struggle to find income in a VERY competitive market. but, i’m going to have confidence and keep doing what i think is right and we’ll see where that takes me this year!